Johnny Manziel Might Be the Hugest Douche to Ever Play in the NFL
A lot of people are saying "Johnny Football" is just the "new Tim Tebow". Comparing Manziel to Tebow is FAR too generous. Yes, Tebow finished the 2011 season with the lowest pass completion rate for any quarterback in the NFL. Except Tim Tebow pretty much single-handedly carried the Denver Broncos to the playoffs that season. Furthermore, as one of the most talked about players in the league, Tebow's NFL career ended in the most unceremonious manner possible. It says loads about his character that he has been able to roll with the punches, because I really think about 90% of the people who watch football every Sunday wanted Tebow to fail. Even among Florida Gators fans, Tebow was a very controversial figure. Broncos fans were equally divided. Pretty much the only demographic to unconditionally support Tebow were Evangelical Christians, due to his much-maligned public displays of faith.
But here's the thing; Tebow seems like a generally good human being. Like the type of good human being who you wouldn't mind being stranded on a deserted island with because you would trust he wouldn't kill you in your sleep to cannibalize you. Think about it. There aren't that many people in your life today who you could trust to not eat you under those circumstances. Tim Tebow wouldn't eat you. Tim Tebow would protect you with the circle of Jesus fire surrounding him. But unfortunately for Tim Tebow, being a good human being doesn't make you a good NFL quarterback.
On the other hand... Johnny Manziel would eat you. Not only that, he would probably take fucking selfies of himself feasting on your leg, "medium rare lol!!!!". Keep in mind this is on a desert island, no possibility of rescue. No one is going to see these. The phone itself might even be dead by this point. Maybe there isn't even a phone. But unless it's a Johnny Football selfie, it didn't fucking happen... because as of now, the only thing of note he has done in the NFL is take a bunch of selfies.
Did you know that "Johnny Football" is a registered trademark?
Furthermore, his signature sign/taunt/mark of being a fucking asshat is "money". Really dude? The best fucking thing you could come up with in thousands of Instagram posts is either two middle fingers or the "money" sign?
No one else in history has behaved in a fashion as such to beg humanity to punch him in the face then take a picture doing the "money sign" while teabagging him.
Today, Mr. Football got his first start of the (mostly done) season. The Browns lost 30-0 to the Bengals. Manziel was 10 for 18 with two interceptions, and was sacked three times.
$$$$$MONEY, BITCHES$$$$$
(I was going to take that picture with cash and a gun, except I don't have any cash on me and I don't own a gun)
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